DANGER OF BEING A PICK ME

https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/evewoman/article/2001356463/how-to-stop-being-a-pick-me-type-of-woman

" I do not understand why women marry for money; we need to build each of our Kingz". You might have heard someone say this, or probably you said it before you realized how ridiculous the whole statement is. Welcome to the world of the pick me a woman so desperate for male attention and validation she is willing to be treated as a herringbone boot scraper.

" I do not understand why women marry for money; we need to build each of our Kingz"-Pick Me Queenz

The pick me will go to the end of the earth to prove to a man that she is the best thing since it's invention. She will attack women who have higher standards than herself, hoping that men will notice and choose to love her. Men loath her and love her in equal measure. They love her as they can use her attack women have rejected them because of their fragile egos, and loath her because men love the chase, and she is no different from a dead carcass.

I know I'm a bit harsh, but this was always my life. The number of comments I would post on someone's feed on women and slutty behavior, and how I preached to many of my friends on why it was better to marry a struggler because you will see each other through the worst. Hotep nonsense, and all that was my portion. I was a believer and fighter for the struggle love movement until a lady narrated her story about her an ex, and not only did it break my heart, but I started having a change of heart.

The lady, let's call her Sophia, got into a relationship with her childhood sweetheart. They moved to the city together to make ends meet since they both came from poverty. Sophia described their living conditions, and it was wrenching. They slept on a mattress on the floor, and their rental was an iron sheet house. She worked two jobs and saved every penny to help the man start a small business. During that time, she got pregnant and had a daughter.

For three years, she worked so hard, and her hard work bore fruits. They managed to put a kiosk and a gas refilling station, and that is when things changed. The man became verbally abusive and was sported with different women, spending money like there was no tomorrow and refusing to provide for her even though she was the one who helped him build the business. He left her and went to live with another woman and stopped even providing for Sophia and her daughter.

Sophia would beg and ask that he provides for her daughter, but the man would refuse. All that she had worked for went down the drain. Until this very day, the man does not help her and her daughter and considering she was never married to the man, taking him to court and getting a DNA test would have been costly for her.

This whole episode changed her. She advised me never to allow myself to accept a man who has nothing to show. That I will always be the starter wife and once he gets to a high-level status, rest assured I will be tossed aside for a better model. The whole story played a role in changing my belief system, especially when it comes to relationships. She told me of times when she was so depressed, she thought of ending her life, watching her child suffer from no fault of her own broke her.

Today, many women find themselves in similar situations as Sophia. You think that being a Bob, the builder will make a man love you and be faithful to you forever. I cannot blame her for what happened to her as society taught us that being a pick me was noble, that it was okay to marry a "dusty" because we need to think about starting a family ASAP. They warned about our biological clocks ticking and why we should settle with whatever man comes our way.

Our lack of self-esteem was built into this behavior. We accepted broken men because we never imagined that we could be loved. We suffered from emotional, mental, and verbal abuse from people close to us who kept telling us that we should accept the little crumbs thrown our way. Pick me behavior might look noble, but it can destroy you mentally and is a danger to yourself and those you love.

Sometimes it's easy to laugh at a Pick me. The length these women go to please these sons of Adam can be impressive; however, it is also crucial that we reach out to them because their behavior might set them out to fail. The more one becomes desperate for someone's approval, they quickly lose themselves, and it always leads to premium tears. There is nothing sexy about giving up your dreams and desires to build someone else's.

“The number of chances you give someone doesn't tell the world how loving you are without telling them how desperate you are to believe they care as much as you. True love resides in the first chance, stupidity in the second, opportunists in the third and scoundrels in the fourth.”

― Shannon L. Alder